I've known you for over five years.  You were my closest friend and confidant.  I loved you.  You meant the world to me.  We all go through our phases and I was going through mine.  I will never understand why my words were being analysed in such a negative way.  Your thinking is off.  Way off.

I called you tonight to find out how you are doing because I care.  I was not expecting to have things thrown in my face.

Based on tonight's conversation, I finally understand that our friendship is over.  I am hurt and it will take me some time to get over this. Like everything else, I will get through it.

I'm sorry that your mind is so narrow right now.

I'm sorry that you took my words out of context, without discussing with me first.

I'm sorry that you have decided to throw our friendship out the window.

You will never hear from me again.

That is how I feel today.  Numb.  I don't feel like speaking, don't feel like watching tv, don't feel like reading. . .don't even feel like writing.  My thoughts are escaping me faster than I can write, so I probably won't make much sense.

Hurricanes, earthquakes, terror threats, office politics, assholes, liars, hypocrites. . .I could go on and on.  My mind is like a radio that switches stations every second and cannot be stopped.  I am losing my mind.

Is there a light at the end of this tunnel?  I suppose. . .but it's an incoming train.

On Friday after work, three of colleagues and I decided to drive out to the casino for some fun.  After battling the heavy traffic and passing by a very disturbing accident (in addition to getting off the wrong exit) we made it.

We had a fantastic time.

After two hours or so, we started our long commute back.  I dropped everyone off at their respective homes (crossing bridges, entering territory I have never heard off or seen before) and then made my way home.

No parking. . .

There is a park nearby; so I had no choice but to park there.  It was three this morning.

At around 9a, I was awakened by the ring of  my cell phone.  It was hub, who said that I should come and look at my car.  I went downstairs and was horrified to see that my car had been vandalised. . .for fun.  Nothing was stolen.

My passenger back door was smashed.  Glass all over my back seat.

Thankfully, my insurance company covers the damage; with no deductible.  The trick is now to get someone out here to fix it today.

I know I am not the first to which this incident happens, and I certainly won't be the last; however, I feel violated and angry.  Why?  Why my car?  Why me?

This has now flooded my mind which was previously occupied with the happy thoughts of having a good time with my friends and the adventures of simply trying to get there and back.

I now sit and wait. . . for the glass people to come on by and patch me up.

The BBQs are over, and the cool breezes are setting in.  My son is now in high school.  It is his second week.  I guess he is still trying to adjust.  He has lost some weight, which concerns me, but he says everything is great.  I find myself wondering if I did the right thing by enrolling him in an all boys high school.  He had applied to three, one of which was coed; unfortunately, the latter did not accept him.  He was crushed, as half of his former classmates are attending that school.

Parenting a teen is hard work!  Thank goodness I only have one.  He will be fourteen next month.  I suppose that means more woes for me.

Lately I have been working some crazy hours.  Getting in at seven, leaving after nine. . .just really ridiculous hours.  One of my colleagues is away on vacation, and,  as it is always the case, everything that can possibly go wrong will go wrong when a person is out.

Something went wrong.

There was a deal closing that was reassigned to another colleague.  She is rather tedious and not a real team player.  She actually gets on my last nerve.  When the deal was given to her, she started complaining that she did not know how to do a closing and someone had to sit with her to get it done.

I had no problem sitting down with her, except for one small detail.  The deal was closing today and she was conveniently out of the office yesterday.  This meant that I had to do all of the preparation in anticipation of the closing, which included the setup and obtaining proper legal approvals.  Her excuse for being out?  Her refrigerator broke down, and the repairman was going to her house to fix it some time between nine and five. 

She walked in this morning, extremely apologetic.  She wanted to watch over my shoulder as I completed the set up in our systems.  I told her that at that point it was totally pointless; I had already done 99% of the work and would complete it.

All day long, she was sulking and complaining and blaming ME.  She was spoken to by the higher ups and will be formally spoken to again tomorrow. 

I cover for my colleagues as much as I can; however, in this case, there was nothing I could do or say to mask the fact that she just did not want to be bothered and decided not to show up to work.

This is a professional environment; not Kindergarten.  I am not a babysitter.   

So I checked in with the Best Buy "Geek Squad" and I was informed that there is a problem with my motherboard.  There goes my faith in laptops.  So convenient, yet so fragile.  I miss it.  Terribly.  They have to send it away for repairs.  It will take at least a month.  Me no likey.

My vacation ends today. . .I dread having to go to work tomorrow.  Why can't I just win the lottery? 

My laptop is relatively new, and I never had problems.  Last week, just prior to leaving on vacation, a bizarre "stickykeys" alert kept popping up and just would not go away.  I tried to disable it, to no avail.  I clicked on one icon, all icons would be highlighted.  Everything I type is in upper case when I want lowercase and vise versa.  I was so annoyed!  Since I paid $300 for a service plan at Best Buy, I took it there.  They have held my laptop hostage for a week now.  No one has looked at it, no one answers the phone, no one cares.

The manager says they simply do not have enough techs to handle the volume.  Where does that leave me?  I could not back up any files, so my entire life is in the laptop.  I feel cheated.  I am going to get my laptop back and try to get some of my more techkie friends to look at it.  I sure hope it is something that can be repaired.  

Just one more thing to add to my list stressors. 

If you have time, check out the following blog:

http://teacha.tblog.com" title="http://teacha.tblog.com" target="_blank"http://teacha.tblog.com

I met her through another site and introduced her to tblog.  Enjoy. . .and don't forget to keep visiting mine.  I am beginning to feel quite lonely overhere!

Remember cuz from Florida?  Well, I was going to visit her this month.  I had it all planned out. . .a relaxing mini getaway, perhaps an escape to Miami. . .no son, no hub to worry about. . .who was I kidding?

Son - in summer school

Hub - working

Jos - guilty! (work, home, barely enough time to spend with my family and here I was, ready to leave them all!)

So no trip. . .

It sounded like a great idea.  Volleyball.  Great excercise, an opportunity to meet new people and a welcomed refreshment in my somewhat routined life.

I thought wrong.

Can't say I blame my team, but shit, I thought this was supposed to be fun.  Instead, I am surrounded by seven to eight members all wanting to be captains, yelling all the time and acting like the world will come to an end cause a ball was dropped.

So I have decided to quit.

I have more fun at the gym anyway.  I wil try again next season by going to an open scrimmage.  That way, I can be placed with people with similar skills, i.e., beginners who want to have fun.

I have enough stress at work and at home to also face this crap elsewhere.

I hope a ball drops gets volleyed right onto all their heads!!!

K. . .so I'm bitter.

In my room, there is a remote for the air-conditioner, one for the tower fan and for the cable box and one for the television.  There is also one for my DVD player.  Yes, I know that there are universal remotes and what nots but it is just too much of a hassle for me.

In the livingroom, there is the cable box remote, the tv remote, the stereo remote, and the DVD remote.

In my son's room. . oh you know the drill.

So I have joined a volleyball league.  I can't really play, but who cares?  I am just in it for the excercise.  The first game was last Thursday at a college in the city.

I was all for it until I got there.  I don't know any of the players and 99% of them know the damm game.  All I know is the ball needs to stay in the air. . .or something.

One teammate in particular, started to annoy me.  Of course, she is athletic and pretty and tan and CAN play. . .She kept giving me these looks.  I said from the beginning that I am a beginner and wanted to have some fun.  She thinks this is the olympics or something. 

During the game, she kept screaming "I'm the setter!  I'm the setter!  I always get the second ball."  Whatever, pinhead!

I can't wait til Thursday.  I hope the opposing team lands a ball in her face!

Just checking in; I know it's been a while. 

My son had his prom.  He had a great time.  He graduates next month.  I am so proud of him!

I have a new boss at work; so I don't blog from there. . .and I find myself fighting for the computer when I come home; as my son has become quite fond of the internet!

Hope everyone is well.

I have a headache and pulled a muscle on my back this morning.  I am in pain. . .

One of my sisters-in-law (hub's brother's wife) is throwing a surprise party for her mom.  She does not want to include hub's fam, so she asked only us to attend.  I was under the impression that the party was this past Saturday.  Because I know I will stick out like a sore thumb at this thing, I really did not want to go.  Hub did not want to go either, as he feels she is being rude by not inviting his family.  Long-ass story. . .

All weekend long I pondered and pondered what I would say as an excuse for not going to the party.  Came up with a good one.  I did not hear from her all weekend, so I thought she was mad.  I finally called on Monday.  Her husband answered.

I asked him how was the party.  He said, "what party?"

"Your mother-in-law's party"

"That party is next weekend."

"Oh"

"Is your wife home?"

Damm it!  Turns out I had the wrong date in my calendar; party is next Saturday.

Got into a car accident today; I am physically fine, but my nerves are shot.  Car?  Not so good.  It cannot be driven, which means I have to take the train to work until it is repaired.  The irony:  I am picking up a brand new car tomorrow. 

The car is for hub.  'Nuff said on that subject.  I went out of my way this evening to pick him up. . .got into an accident. . .

Just another day in my life.

A colleague gave me a mango.  I have not eatened one of those in eons!  I dropped in my bag (the one with all the junk in it) and forgot about it.  Came home after a long and exhausting day and after going through my home routine, settled in bed to watch whatever.

Came across the movie "Bend It Like Beckham."  There is a scene where Jess is being measured for a sari (or something like it).  The lady doing the measuring mentions something about her breasts looking like juicy mangos. . .

Shit!  The mango!  In my bag!

Another potential tragedy in my life averted!

I must seriously be out of touch with fashion; particularly men's.  I was on the subway today, and a handsome, well dressed man walked in at one of the stops.  He was wearing a too-tight (in my opinion) pin-striped suit and gasp! pointy shoes.  Pointy shoes??? 

Wouldn't this be uncomfortable?  I was in pain just staring at them!

What do you consider the oddest ritual/habit that you have?

Mine is drinking a diet pepsi twist with a full cup of crushed ice and two additional cups of crushed ice to chew on EVERY morning.  I know. . .not good for the teeth but somehow it calms me down. . .

Share yours. . .please.

One of my colleagues bought a new truck.  Nothing fancy; a Kia Sportage.  All souped up.  Ok, I am jealous.  I drive a Hyundai. . .

Moving on. . .

There are seven of us in our team, and one had already gone out to lunch, so we decided to pile into the new truck and drive to the local Baskin Robins.  You had to be there; six grown ups acting like kids.  Four of us sandwiched in the back seat (yes, we ALL fit!). 

Getting out of the parking garage was a challenge; first, she could not get the doors to open and second, she forgot to take the parking break off.  So we were almost up and running and all we hear is a screeching sound.  She picked up this truck just yesterday.

We all got our ice creams/smoothies/sundaes and piled back into the truck.  In and out of there within twenty minutes.  My biggest fear was that someone would realize that we were all missing!

Boy, did I need that adventure!

For the first time since I was born, I had my eyebrows threaded!  Just had to share.

Thank you, cousin from Florida!

I look good. . .!

So much to share. . .but I am falling asleep.  I have not had a good night's sleep since Thursday.  Cousin from Florida came to visit.  We had a wedding to attend.

We had some really interesting adventures. . .more on that later.

I am too tired right now!

My goal of owning a home has officially gone out the window.  Hub has bought a car.  An expensive car.  So no house for the next couple of years.  I am very disgusted right now. 

I am upset and I think I am going to cry for a few hours.

The one from my accountant.  Yes, I owe the IRS.  Tons of dough.  Ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That was my mechanic's comment on my car.  I had to her her in for the 30k checkup.  I cannot believe that I have put this many miles on my baby and it is not even two years old.

He said that he could tell I am not a "speeder."  I suppose going 80 mph does not count!  How can I go any faster?  I95 is a nightmare during rush hour.  Oh well. . .